Is my cheating on my wife some of her fault?

Cheating is never okay. If you just wanted to get f***ed then marriage obviously wasn't for you. You don't respect women, the deceased and the sanctity of marriage. You're an a**hole. Gay couples who deserve to have the joy of marriage don't get that right, but a straight man who cheats AND blames other people for it gets to be married. You deserve a divorce and to pay heavily.